Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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