He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
