No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize