He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
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