ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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