Porn is love you can see.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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