Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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