Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
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I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
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Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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