You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
