You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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