She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
