Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
