We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
