That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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