his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
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Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
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She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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