I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the day after is always just damage control
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
