Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
