so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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