Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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