we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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