i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
