I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
