I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
