i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
