Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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