Got a toothbrush?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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