Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of Today

• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last http://tfl.nu/j9db
  Replies (16) Good night (210) Bad night (1760) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child. http://tfl.nu/ltf5
  Replies (12) Good night (212) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches. http://tfl.nu/nznf
  Replies (3) Good night (158) Bad night (802) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  "it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): "it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro http://tfl.nu/gyn9
  Replies (4) Good night (177) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay http://tfl.nu/d341
  Replies (14) Good night (181) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream? http://tfl.nu/tu1k
  Replies (12) Good night (158) Bad night (664) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed. http://tfl.nu/aml6
  Replies (11) Good night (178) Bad night (594) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market. http://tfl.nu/wxnm
  Replies (2) Good night (164) Bad night (512) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs. http://tfl.nu/urlg
  Replies (10) Good night (216) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am http://tfl.nu/0kp9
  Replies (1) Good night (547) Bad night (233) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine.... (617): This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs. http://tfl.nu/5fub
  Replies (10) Good night (1015) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan. http://tfl.nu/8pg6
  Replies (1) Good night (394) Bad night (147) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag. http://tfl.nu/hxfk
  Replies (2) Good night (459) Bad night (145) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies? http://tfl.nu/dbdn
  Replies (7) Good night (743) Bad night (129) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  It's like the whiskey god was watching over you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id. (702): It's like the whiskey god was watching over you http://tfl.nu/wgp4
  Replies (6) Good night (1121) Bad night (117)