the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
