Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
