I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?