So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My feet surprised me
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.