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Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
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