Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.