YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm both gender and math confused