there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.