Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.