She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.