on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy