He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀