someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.