My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?