Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
How drunk are you?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT