We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.