It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....