If I had your ass I would rule the world
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home