We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.