Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice