mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk