yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?