I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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My bed smells like the plague
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.