Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?