TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
