If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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