Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.