Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Sex in the backyard? Check.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk