I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....