I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
All the doctor said was why
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood