He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I love you. Go after that dick
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.