I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
are you still alive?
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!