Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of the Month

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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward

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  (647): Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward http://tfl.nu/5pol
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.

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  (541): Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car. http://tfl.nu/sdxj
  Replies (4) Good night (993) Bad night (137)
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  (408): View more from California

  But college guys get to crossfade so there's that

  (305): View more from Florida

  No idea what that is

  (408): View more from California

  Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...

  (305): View more from Florida

  I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words

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  (408): But college guys get to crossfade so there's that (305): No idea what that is (408): Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together... (305): I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words http://tfl.nu/rs53
  Replies (8) Good night (991) Bad night (111)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.

  (1+61): View more from

  Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?

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  (+61): You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek. (1+61): Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before? http://tfl.nu/tcy4
  Replies (9) Good night (990) Bad night (67)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.

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  (479): The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it. http://tfl.nu/6rje
  Replies (7) Good night (989) Bad night (208)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  And it tastes incredible.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  And I have chest pains.

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  (708): I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee. (708): And it tastes incredible. (708): And I have chest pains. http://tfl.nu/iw1m
  Replies (5) Good night (974) Bad night (296)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest

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  (662): The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance (1-662): Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest http://tfl.nu/10xm
  Replies (2) Good night (969) Bad night (131)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.

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  (313): We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up. (313): Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals. http://tfl.nu/39hn
  Replies (6) Good night (966) Bad night (159)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable

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  (646): Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable http://tfl.nu/rcay
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face

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  (712): when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face http://tfl.nu/ax1i
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you

  (1-240): View more from Maryland

  Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina

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  (240): Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you (1-240): Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina http://tfl.nu/ytzu
  Replies (7) Good night (957) Bad night (86)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time

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  (928): So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time http://tfl.nu/6mpm
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.

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  (410): He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever." (410): I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much. http://tfl.nu/3c5w
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants

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  (248): I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants http://tfl.nu/k0mn
  Replies (5) Good night (948) Bad night (149) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.

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  (916): We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out. http://tfl.nu/zjk4
  Replies (5) Good night (944) Bad night (158) Order T-Shirt