Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.