I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit