Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals