I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.