It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.