Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing