you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.