Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?