Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.