Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of the Month

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings

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  (208): Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings http://tfl.nu/oj8r
  Replies (0) Good night (149) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.

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  (305): Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge. http://tfl.nu/xogn
  Replies (1) Good night (147) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool

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  (312): I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool http://tfl.nu/6zmi
  Replies (0) Good night (146) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself

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  (760): dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself http://tfl.nu/8oqh
  Replies (2) Good night (145) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?

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  (585): I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here? http://tfl.nu/2f90
  Replies (0) Good night (145) Bad night (568)
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  (562): View more from California

  You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..

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  (562): You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire".. http://tfl.nu/0vru
  Replies (0) Good night (144) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.

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  (405): Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe. http://tfl.nu/6c5y
  Replies (0) Good night (141) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."

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  (707): I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah." http://tfl.nu/2has
  Replies (1) Good night (136) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me

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  (425): Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me http://tfl.nu/l6rg
  Replies (1) Good night (136) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle

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  (405): he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle http://tfl.nu/f8qt
  Replies (6) Good night (135) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself

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  (775): He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself http://tfl.nu/55fu
  Replies (3) Good night (134) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.

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  (952): You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat. http://tfl.nu/y56r
  Replies (2) Good night (131) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.

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  (212): Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate. http://tfl.nu/w2uc
  Replies (1) Good night (128) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment

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  (703): I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment http://tfl.nu/m0k3
  Replies (0) Good night (128) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.

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  (516): Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much. http://tfl.nu/d22a
  Replies (1) Good night (126) Bad night (186)