Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of the Month

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  (845): View more from New York

  He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done

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  (845): He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done http://tfl.nu/6oss
  Replies (10) Good night (123) Bad night (497)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"

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  (716): I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?" http://tfl.nu/zqsu
  Replies (10) Good night (121) Bad night (500)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.

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  (812): Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me. http://tfl.nu/oqrx
  Replies (0) Good night (114) Bad night (234)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity

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  (203): Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity http://tfl.nu/hqbb
  Replies (0) Good night (113) Bad night (331)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.

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  (585): He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down. http://tfl.nu/e3ty
  Replies (3) Good night (107) Bad night (536)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.

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  (757): I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me. http://tfl.nu/xol6
  Replies (3) Good night (106) Bad night (160)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.

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  (306): all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra. http://tfl.nu/tmhw
  Replies (4) Good night (96) Bad night (196)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped

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  (410): he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped http://tfl.nu/j5y9
  Replies (1) Good night (94) Bad night (145)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.

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  (306): I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic. http://tfl.nu/bsgj
  Replies (3) Good night (89) Bad night (217)
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  (707): View more from California

  How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?

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  (707): How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation? http://tfl.nu/nygk
  Replies (9) Good night (88) Bad night (374)
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  (516): View more from New York

  mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?

  (1-516): View more from New York

  all of them.

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  (516): mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs? (1-516): all of them. http://tfl.nu/l17j
  Replies (0) Good night (73) Bad night (29)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY

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  (904): UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY http://tfl.nu/1tru
  Replies (1) Good night (53) Bad night (35)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line

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  (973): I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line http://tfl.nu/0x46
  Replies (0) Good night (48) Bad night (31)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"

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  (516): Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?" http://tfl.nu/n5f6
  Replies (0) Good night (45) Bad night (31)
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  (390): View more from

  She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.

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  (390): She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it. http://tfl.nu/hfa4
  Replies (0) Good night (45) Bad night (28)