Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.