Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.