I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.