Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.