I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.