MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.