It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I think i got beer on your cat.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home