If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.