Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of the Week

• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (731): Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze. http://tfl.nu/erxr
  Replies (1) Good night (1347) Bad night (131) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today. http://tfl.nu/vvd3
  Replies (9) Good night (1345) Bad night (228) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her. http://tfl.nu/9498
  Replies (2) Good night (1331) Bad night (115)
• Favorite

  (424): View more from California

  Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (424): Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus. http://tfl.nu/3sel
  Replies (10) Good night (1309) Bad night (279) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks. http://tfl.nu/r45q
  Replies (16) Good night (1298) Bad night (205) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I want "hickeys on my ass" sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I want "hickeys on my ass" sex http://tfl.nu/gaw7
  Replies (9) Good night (1270) Bad night (207) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart. http://tfl.nu/okmj
  Replies (15) Good night (1259) Bad night (286) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it. http://tfl.nu/oche
  Replies (8) Good night (1242) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together. http://tfl.nu/i6go
  Replies (11) Good night (1240) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever. http://tfl.nu/ky4b
  Replies (6) Good night (1163) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins. http://tfl.nu/4yq8
  Replies (3) Good night (1156) Bad night (137) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off." http://tfl.nu/975o
  Replies (8) Good night (1129) Bad night (162)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective. http://tfl.nu/0c9h
  Replies (6) Good night (1120) Bad night (153) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me. http://tfl.nu/t0zt
  Replies (4) Good night (1120) Bad night (135) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (075): View more from

  thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (075): thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs. http://tfl.nu/pfb6
  Replies (12) Good night (1111) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt