He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.