Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself