I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way