I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.