I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.