he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.