MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.