sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY