Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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Can't talk, ducks in the car
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.