Texts From Last Night · YouveAlrdyHadUrs's Favorites

YouveAlrdyHadUrs's Favorites Texts:

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...

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(859): Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS... http://tfl.nu/5739

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?

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(780): Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel? http://tfl.nu/7lkz

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(305): View more from Florida

We don't watch enough power rangers

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(305): We don't watch enough power rangers http://tfl.nu/xqyy

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(817): View more from Texas

one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."

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(817): one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog." http://tfl.nu/q8wu

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(765): View more from Indiana

i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out

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(765): i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out http://tfl.nu/3iy5

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.

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(506): There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet. http://tfl.nu/yw9h

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.

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(202): I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney. http://tfl.nu/fw2g

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.

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(202): His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together. http://tfl.nu/je6r

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(302): View more from Delaware

As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.

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(302): As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial. http://tfl.nu/egux

Replies (4) Good night (1503) Bad night (270)
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(208): View more from Idaho

You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge

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(208): You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge http://tfl.nu/7xq9

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(713): View more from Texas

Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.

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(713): Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon. http://tfl.nu/r8yq

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(812): View more from Indiana

Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300

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(812): Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300 http://tfl.nu/t71x

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?

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(505): Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake? http://tfl.nu/87n8

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(714): View more from California

I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.

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(714): I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle. http://tfl.nu/7gdx

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.

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(603): I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused. http://tfl.nu/l3qm

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(561): View more from Florida

Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.

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(561): Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences. http://tfl.nu/x85v

Replies (2) Good night (415) Bad night (796)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.

(1-504): View more from Louisiana

Oh shit. This is getting real.

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(504): Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning. (1-504): Oh shit. This is getting real. http://tfl.nu/zlj3

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(250): View more from British Columbia

She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.

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(250): She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever. http://tfl.nu/asbh

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(573): View more from Missouri

I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me

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(573): I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me http://tfl.nu/p784

Replies (13) Good night (1454) Bad night (236) Order T-Shirt

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